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Frequently Asked Questions

This section is part of the OxfordRomance.org.uk online help system. (show contents). You can also view the entire document as a single very long page.


What should I write in my personal description?

The most important thing is that you do actually write a description - if you don't, you are far less likely to be messaged by other members. In the immortal words of 'Little Miss Leprechaun', "blankness begets blankness". Should you wish, you can later choose not to display the profile. Here are a few of our tips:

  • You should definitely describe yourself, what you like, what interests you, and what you are looking for: a paragraph or two is a good length. This is your chance to "sell" yourself, so don't be too modest! People usually want more details: to say "contact me and I'll tell you more", or to leave your description blank is not usually a very successful approach.

  • If you need inspiration, click the Inspire me! button. This will give you some suggestions.

  • If you have a sense of humour :), demonstrate it! The best approach is to make people laugh. Also, use Smileys if you like to convey expression. E.g.   :-)    ;-)    :-D    :-P   d8=   [These mean, respectively, Happy, Winks (devilish), Laughs, nyahhhh! (sticks out tongue) ,"Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat." [more].

  • Do say what type of relationship you are looking for. You can use the "how to date me and make me happy" field to expand on this. Unconventional relationship types are also welcome; this is a good place to explain what you seek.

  • If what you say is tongue-in-cheek or ironic, it is usually a good idea to telegraph this fact with a smiley. Otherwise, people may read it literally. Think psychology!
    Women: if you write something risqué, even though you're just being flirtatious, the men will use their wishful thinking, and take you literally!
    Men: when girls write something risqué, they are usually just being flirtatious: don't take them at their literal word: that's wishful thinking!


  • It is unwise to include a phone number/email address/ICQ number initially. Messages through the site are far more secure.

  • The 'Either' category is intended for those seeking anything that doesn't exactly fit MsF, FsM, MsM, or FsF; the 'Other' category is for those who don't identify themselves as being cis-male or cis-female.

  • You may use HTML in your description. Also, if you include a photograph, you'll get far more responses. It is also worth adding perhaps 20-30 key-words or phrases to describe yourself: these are searchable. The "additional attributes" section contains some specific options - please fill in as much as you wish. The range of options is limited in order to facilitate matching, however feel free to suggest extra options.

  • You may find this guide to flirting (written especially for us, by flirt-coach Peta Heskell) helpful.

  • What not to do: UserFriendly demonstrates the perils of a generic profile.

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Rose